Your belly hair, like hundreds of little spiders' legs, will pass lint up from your underwear to your bellybutton
It's like an assembly line
One January morning when I am thirty years old, I am at work and I take the garbage out to the dumpster
It is so cold out
I walk to the park across the street and sit down and watch cars park in the parking lot and people walk in to get coffee or lunch or something
I watch my breath fog in front of me
The last girl I had sex with said she thought I was "gonna go crazy on her"
She told me I could touch her anywhere except her vagina because she has a boyfriend
She said she could do whatever she wanted to me though
She went down on me and then we had sex
She said she tried heroin for the first time that day
Mark locked me and Rachel in the bathroom with him and told us about how Zack said he could beat him at wrestling but that he would definitely win if they wrestled
I asked Rachel if the girl who tried heroin for the first time that day was still at the party
We went to look for her
I found her and said "you can sleep on my couch if you need a place to stay tonight"
She said "I'm going to sleep in your bed"
The next morning we went to eat breakfast and she paid for it with her mom's credit card and when I mentioned Fraggle Rock she said "I think I'm a little too young for that"
Then she said the thing about me going "crazy on her" in a really nonchalant, calm tone
There is a button you can click on Facebook that then offers you the choice to 'Block' or 'Poke' the person whose page you're looking at
Lint gathers and travels up your pelvis and dust shatters like broken glass
I pick the lint out when I am in the shower and someone said the discovery about dust shattering will help people predict the weather
In the shower I let the water hit my beard for a long time because that is one of the best feelings I can have
Petting the dog and hot water on my beard
Dust shattering and lint traveling
Some scientist who says this will help predict the weather
My dog who is sometimes bothered by how often I want to lay with my head on her stomach
Michael Inscoe is the author of Don't Die Alone. He edits the literary site Unsure if i will allow my beard to keep growing for much longer.