12/12/11

Andrew Worthington

harry potter as a sex guide

i may have used the harry potter book series as a sex guide

harry was often brooding throughout the books
he had issues such as mortality and the fate of the universe that were worrying
him
but i wonder if his lack of sexual excursion may have also been a large reason
for his brooding

an asshole killed his mother and left a mark on his forehead immediately
thereafter

i read the more romantic sections in "goblet of fire" over and over again
he even had a kind of hot date to the yule ball
but he just broods the whole time about cho chang
and then he kind of kills her boyfriend
or at least he feels responsible for his death

he is always too busy to bother

and the end of the series he kills voldemort
after coming back from the dead

and then it jumps forward 19 years
and he must have had sex because he has kids
and he probably has a nice house
and a yard
and he takes care of it
maybe even with muggle landscaping equipment
and ginny has a garden
and maybe even takes care of it with muggle landscaping equipment
but they might just use magic for all of the yard work

Andrew Worthington recommends Tim Peter's "My Voluptuous Delusion" at The Rumpus.

(For December at Everyday Genius, contributors were asked to recommend something elsewhere on the Internet.)

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