Curt Huibregtse + Robert J. Baumann + Judd Nielsen

I can't really tell if King Charles is a straight-up horndog couching his lust with romanticism, or a clear-eyed Lover who just really likes getting laid. I'm not sure he can either, but I appreciate the way he handles it. The tension between love and lust is a horribly common song topic, but it's usually more dour and aching for whichever is missing (especially considering the work of the sort of UK bands I typically listen to). Charles gives it with boundless Prince-via-Andrew W.K. enthusiasm, a tempo teasing at a typical “excited” heart rate [citation needed], and an outright climax that drops into a warm, half-time afterglow (following some really wanky guitar work, natch). There's definitely heartbreak at some point after the end of the song, but can probably be safely ignored as long as it's on repeat.

Once, I was having relations with a young woman when, en medias coitus—mid-writhe even—she looked me in the eyes and asked, “You really get into this, don’t you?” At that point, the intercourse, which had been lopsided to say the least, was promptly ceased. The young woman, for whom I had shaved my moustache, dressed and left. We spoke very little after that. True story.

Point being, if you’re going to do it right, you have to abandon inhibitions or embrace the ridiculous. Good sex is a pretty weird thing and, in my opinion, should make one vulnerable. That’s what this song is/does: at times it borders on cheesy, but it’s sincere, and it fucking rocks. And I’ll be damned if I’m not excited that someone made it.

The romantic in me likes to think “Love Lust” could apply to a couple fifty years into a relationship. The song bounces into crescendo, admonishing us to surrender to fatalism. For the aged lovers, this is still present amid too-loud televisions, wrinkled skin, and pharmaceutically aided sex.

Of course, the other way love lust could end is the disaster that comes when we foolishly believe clichéd ideas of romance. We are first ignored, which makes us irrational. It escalates to actions and declarations we will never admit to anyone after the fact. Finally, the relationship is ended only after attorneys are involved. Think Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton: pure love lust.

All this is moot though, because I think King Charles would tell us to stop over-thinking and get it when we can.

Curt Huibregtse produces the "Quantum Sleep" podcast, the Internet's only lucid dreaming/Quantum Leap fancast. Subscribe on iTunes!

Since the aforementioned incident, Robert J. Baumann has had a very fulfilling sex life, in case you were worried.

Judd Nielsen currently resides in Lawrence, Kansas.

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