Ian White

"Get Your Boots on, Pamela, It’s Party Time!"

Have you ever been to a party?
I have been to many parties!
I try to go to all the parties that party-party.

One time I was at a party,
and I got drenched! in party
drinks – because that is what is a party.

Another time I was at a party,
and I found out that “two or three people kissed at the party.”
But I think that was just party-
talk for those parti-
cipating out in the party-
erre where was the “real-party!”.

In general, a party is made up of two great things: party!
and fun!. They are at all the parties.

Here is a party
favor for you at this party:
I will talk about my favorite oh!-it-was-fun!-party:

There were two party
persons: Ben and Craig-the-Party-
Boy. The Ben person hit the Craig-the-Party-
Boy person after the “Happy Birth-Party”
song, during the dance part(y).
This whole guilty party
thing started because the Ben person’s party-
girl seemed like she was absolutely made of parties
because the party
lights made her stinsel hair party-
fall up and down like a party
of water, and they drank up her part(icularl)y
lemony skin. The Ben person was much a party
to her and saw the Craig-the-Party-Boy person’s part-eyes
part-watching her party.
So the Ben person began parti
ng the crowd to the Craig-the-Party-Boy person, even part(wa)y
pushing. The Ben Person said “Hey! That’s my inamor-at-a-party!,”
and everyone at the party stopped! the party
while the Craig-the-Party-Boy said “That’s just a parti-
pris, bub, you’re just a misogynist parti-
san-poop!” The Ben person then partied

his arm to the Craig-the-Party-Boy person’s face parti-
cal-izing the Craig-the-Party-Boy person’s face apart-y
(The Tim person yelled: “Parry! Parry! OH WAIT CAN’T CAUSE IT’S A FULL PARTY!”)
The lemony blood impart(i)-
ed fun gore from out the part(i)
ed mouth of the Craig-the-Party-
Boy person. The Craig-the-Party-Boy person’s lemony hand hung down, parti-
tioning the slender cracks in the wooden floor dirt-party.

And wow! That was a great party!

Haha well now I’m floor-sleeping and ear-mouth-bleeding at the party,
waiting for mom to part(y)-
her-lips-kiss me goodnight and for it to not be anymore a party.

I am tired and want to go home.

Ian White lives in Baltimore, MD. 


  1. Roflskates, truly inspiring work.

  2. Quite the party, genuis if but part(l)y
    is genius whole... smartie.

  3. more things from author (tacky is as tacky ducks):