7/23/12

Kimberly Alidio


I WAS A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD PLAGIARIST



Circling around a memory of flat-out reading the inside
Dust jacket aloud for an oral book report without
Bothering to hide the fact I wasn’t trying to
Grow my seven-year-old words by re-telling a foreign
Story, breaking it down into character, plot and moral
Copied out the text through the loud clear plastic
Stumbled a second too long over the word TSAR
An amateur moment no teacher ever
Forgave 



Prove capable of wifery
Childbearing is the oldest authority
You should put your money in my purse
A proposal   
I.               All my eggs are in this basket, no need to read on   
II.             Careful, the plate is hot        
III.           Method, theories, how I roll             
IV.           Expected findings: is that a quarter behind your ear?
V.             Everyone I’ve ever heard of but never really read
Formatted
It’s OK. We believe in you, we want you. That’s why
You’re here.
We long for your genes.



Compare and contrast on company letterhead
Your collegiality and a head of lettuce
For every syllabus Terms of Service spelled out
Copy the plagiarism policy from the student handbook
Of the university under-employing you at the moment
Audiotape the role-play
You’ll never get to Italy or Flanders
Be original or fail. Repeat
Be close to original but not too
Yes-or-no answers are key to building opinion
But only when the student keeps talking
For a minimum of three minutes
If her opinion is ungrounded, she must not be allowed to Lapse into silence
As Francis I, write a letter to Leonardo da Vinci
Asking him to retire in France
Discuss your bikini tan at tenure-and-promotion meetings
List all the inferiors in love with you
Reenact kingly gestures




She can forge an archival source because she has no
Currency

hi ms this is with A T I a crass your retirement company I was just following up on the conversation you had with my colleague a few days ago I know that he had emailed you out some letters church to set up a new I a Ray and to roll over and old account into the irate as a enrollment rollover specialist here in the financial solutions group on the fine to you to help you to make that process is easy as possible again that's morsey poor not with T I A Crap thanks so much I look forward to speaking with you

Wait until you enter
The precise organs of reproduction
Do stay in the probationary vestibule until your DNA maps
The discipline
We’ll make new things incested with thumbprints




Don’t worry
Just grind your teeth
For fifteen minutes a day between milkings
Whenever you get a little space to piss
It’s best not to eat much during the day and
Wait till the sun goes down to begin grazing
Finish the entire contents of the pantry by midnight
If you do it everyday
You’ll get it down to where it needs to be
You’ll have to find possums to bring ice baths
On the half-hour to soak your feet
So you can eat skullcap slowly into the night
They’ll have to learn to decipher your mush-mouth




Read the following excerpt and answer person re
Fuses that person mis
Places that person for
Gets that person politely de
Clines that person passes that person sur
Mises that person misuses that person bull
Shits that person drops that person sees
Right through that the student needs to read
Without moving her lips
Letters by people rich enough to write




Role-play the reunion of art students in 1500
One returned from Italy and the other from Flanders
Early twenty-first century idiom expected
So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we're gonna be face-to-face
And I'll lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be
Eaten by the Igorots at St. Louis. Now I wanna be
Eaten by the Igorots at St. Louis. Now I wanna be
Eaten by the Igorots at St. Louis. Well c'mon
Other women live only as foils and shopping buddies
Don’t forget to divorce


Kimberly Alidio is a teacher, historian and poet. She runs a small poetry salon and a weekly art-making session, Writing with Viewpoints, in Austin, TX. www.kimberlyalidio.tumblr.com

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