Janet put on a Toni Braxton song. Toni Braxton started singing. Janet hit "return."
Janet yelled "Thomas!" And Thomas walked out of a dark room in his underwear.
“Hey,” Thomas said. Thomas put his hands in his pants and tugged at his penis casually, and without thinking.
"We have a few minutes," Janet told Thomas.
“Okay,” Thomas said.
The portal that opened was slimy-looking. Janet put her hand through, and pulled it back out. Her hand was covered in pink goo. Janet put the goo in her mouth, and spit it back out.
"I'll dial a different place," Janet said.
Janet hit "return," and a new portal appeared.
Janet put her hand through the portal and pushed her arm in, and eventually, Janet fit her whole body through.
On the other side of the portal, Janet's breasts were huge. Janet looked at a tree that was blue and pulsing.
Thomas walked through the portal. Thomas was a woman now, she felt.
"We've made it, Thomas," Janet said.
"Wheeeeeeeeeee," Thomas said, as she jumped over the blue tree and dove into a river that was the color of an old plum.
Janet pulled a Bic pen from her pocket. She wrote "DOWNLOAD” really big on her hand, and underlined it.
Thomas was swimming. She pictured a giant mountain of Skittles. And soon she was diving into Skittles.
Thomas cried for five to ten minutes, floating in the Skittles.
Janet found a nearby store that sold bras and pornography. She picked-up three really comfortable bras and stared at her huge breasts in the mirror as she tried on the bras.
Janet wore a new bra. Thomas built a fort with some tree leaves and blue sticks.
Janet remembered it was October.
Thomas had completed the kitchen fort, complete with stainless steel appliances and a wine closet. Thomas saw the beauty of the world as a woman.
“Can we do dinner here?” Janet asked.
"I've already made ravioli!" Thomas said.
"Well look at you!" Janet said. Janet shifted her bra and looked at Thomas, who seemed both proud and uncomfortable.
Janet whispered, "are you okay?" to Thomas, and Thomas nodded.
Thomas said, in a soft whisper, "I like being a woman."
The sky changed color from green to blue to orange and trees started to fade in and out. Janet and Thomas took a step back, and started to float upwards.
A computer was making noises.
Janet and Thomas stepped out of the portal, and the Internet closed behind them.
Janet sighed quietly, out of desperation.
Janet was at the grocery store. Her breasts were regular-sized. She felt like she was missing her breasts. She put a pumpkin into her cart.
Janet stared at the different kinds of soy milk for fifteen minutes. The Sun moved around the earth.
Janet had a pumpkin and a carton of soy milk in her cart when she reached the store checkout. A lady with giant hands pulled the pumpkin out of the cart, followed by the soy milk.
Janet handed the lady with giant hands five dollars. Janet picked-up her bag and walked towards the door.
Thomas felt the ground. Janet had been back for ten minutes, but he still sat alone. Calypso music played.
Janet walked out into the backyard, and towards Thomas. He handed her a plastic bag, Janet pulled a bra out of the bag.
Janet fell to the ground and hugged Thomas. It got really dark.
It was the end of October.
Janet hit "return" again, and a portal opened up.
Thomas was in the bathroom. The trees outside were swollen and made loud noises. Thomas walked out of the bathroom, and into the computer room.
Janet was gone. Thomas stared at the open portal and walked though.
Gene Morgan lives in Houston. With his wife and kids. He is the managing editor of HTMLGiant.