The Mets have traded right hander Tom Seaver for Pat Zachry and Steve Henderson.
The Mets have traded Nolan Ryan for a bag of dimes.
The Mets have traded a row of bleachers for a catcher who is about to die.
The Mets have traded Donn Clendenon for a key lime pie.
The Mets have pulled off an upset.
The Mets have traded Steve Trachsel.
The Mets are fielding a circus troupe or a ferris wheel.
The Mets have traded their scoreboard and torn down Shea.
At home in Queens. Flushing NY.
The Mets have acquired several new caps and socks.
It's a new year, Rheingold.
The Mets have traded a player to be named later for the rights to all star Alice Notley.
The Mets have traded Schaefer for Miller.
Schaefer is the one beer to have when you're having more than one.
The Mets have traded for a shorter left field line.
They've have brought in the fences.
They've mortgaged their future for an aging present.
They call right field the “Strawberry Patch,” but start a real one in the bullpen.
The Mets have signed Mookie Wilson to serve as their new first base coach.
The Mets have traded for All Star center fielder Carlos Beltran.
The Mets have released Mookie Wilson for the second time.
The Mets have swept.
The Mets are starting the late John Milner at first.
The Mets have traded the late John Milner.
Cleon Jones won the batting title that year.
RA Dickey wins the ERA title this year.
The Mets have signed Joe Torre as player-manager.
They've drafted Robert Cheesman and George Kazmarek.
Wilmer Flores, Jeurys Familia, there is no future.
First Base: Assigned the number 3. Uptown shopping for downstairs business. This time around it’s two catchy originals and a personals and the pizzas cover on white vinyl. We compile an enormous amount of data on fine art and artists and attach our own labels and attributes to each. Ten birds landed on the southwest corner of the field, providing ample opportunity to declare players out and prevent them from scoring.
Second Base: We’ve all locked lips with one—the lizard, the washing machine, the cannibal, the spelunker. Does it matter if clothes are on or off? Toast doesn’t cling or get linty. Participating areas are selected for their safety, novelty, and cultural experience—and the scenery is breathtaking! Also known as the keystone sack.
Third Base: Weekly washers, one-dollar mimosas. Fair or foul, this position requires a strong arm and good reflexes. Do some girls look cute in snow gear? The hot corner, ice as a culture thief. Today’s alienated and cynical youth give blowjobs and eat out pussy to their heart’s content. The accompanying video featured a bevy of humorous cameo appearances.
Home: Sign up for x-rays or a premium UV electric toothbrush! A shuttlecock, pave lime, golden sacks, or cloud-nine skin! The ball is hit in such a way that the batter is able to reach home safely in one play without any errors being committed by the defensive team. Crunch base, frozen sausage. If I put a sock on the doorknob don’t come in.
Bruce Covey has taught at Yale University, Emory University, and the Atlanta College of Art. He is the author of five books of poetry, including, most recently, Reveal: All Shapes & Sizes (Bitter Cherry, 2012) and Glass Is Really a Liquid (No Tell Books, 2010). He lives in Atlanta, GA, where he edits Coconut Poetry and curates the What's New in Poetry reading series.