Ben White


I am tired. You too are probably tired. At least I hope you are, because I don’t want to be alone in this. I think it may be because we’ve been staying up losing sleep for as long as I can remember. It may be that I still haven’t gotten over the fact that I will not be rich nor famous nor talented, and teenage girls will never wet their panties over me because I am not the topic of conversation and my hair isn’t nearly well done enough.

It may be a combination of these things.
I should get a haircut.

You probably feel the same way. This is good though, that we are in this together. You are less attractive than I am. If panties are to be wetted for this, then I will be the master of the waterworks.

But you should also get a haircut.
And some new jeans.
Some new shoes.
Actually just a whole new wardrobe. One without cargo pockets.
I will tell you tomorrow.

Because tonight we make history. Because tonight we pop the impossible of MMORPG cherries. We will beat World of Warcraft. We will complete all 986 achievements. It will be the culmination of years of work. 10,000 hours. 404 days. I have earned this. You too have earned this. In fact, you might need this more than me. But we will do it together.

And then I will quit. I will uninstall my copy, and I will walk away. For good this time. My computer will stick to running Microsoft Office, Firefox, iTunes, and the extensive collection of videos I have amassed in a hidden folder since the sixth grade. I think you should probably continue playing.

And then I will go to John's party, and though I won't say a word to anyone about our footnote in history or our internet fame, I will get drunk, find a girl, and have sex. The order is irrelevant.

Ben White studies medicine in Texas with his beautiful wife and edits Nanoism, a publication for Twitter-sized fiction.

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